Man it is a drug and I have the itch. Any ideas for tats? Do any of you have tats yall wanna show? Show me yours I’ll show you mine!!!!!!!!
Saint Valentine was martyred for not denouncing his Faith. Beaten with clubs and then beheaded. Hmmm sounds like a married man in everyday life. Just kidding. One of his stories (the one this day is based on), is that during Christian persecution under Emperor Claudius Father Valentine secretly married Christian couples.
If no one tells you or shows you in anyway that you are awesome or sexy or attractive, how can you ever feel strong, viral and attractive. What confidence can you have when the one you love doesn’t seem to know you love them or have any physical desire for you? Not only does your confidence drain pond with broken dam, but anger and hopelessness augments with the power of a storm surge without the washback.
Is there anything more awesome than hugs and kisses from you child. I could survive anything as long as I woke up to and came home to my son’s hugs and kisses everyday. His laughter is pretty awesome as well. I feel great pressure to be a great man and an even better father. How do I know if I am teaching him everything he needs to know to be happy, smart and safe but still have a great fun life. It tears me up inside to think I might not be good for him or a choice I make or don’t make might hurt his development and self image. You women think you have it hard trying to protect your children, you try one day being a man with a son. A man that isn’t living up to his potential; a man that has done things in his life he would not want his child doing; a man that has hurt people that didn’t deserve to be hurt; a man that is not sure if he can support his family; a man that fears that he will not be able to play ball with his son; a man that doesn’t know how to cope with his son wanting only mommy to comfort and console him; a man that is so afraid of not being loved by his son; a man that is afraid his son will follow his path instead of aiming higher. Nothing tears a real man apart more than thinking his son will not succeed or know how to live like a real man. These fears are so deep nothing I just said can get close to describing them.
Hell, he has started off pretty awesome and perfect, all I have to do is give him little nudges along the way to keep him on whatever path he chooses.
I am having a hard time recently. I hope that decisions I am making today are not hurting my son.
How do you know when enough is enough? How do you put a time limit? What is the tipping point, where is the line in the sand and when is it time to put your complete happiness first and foremost?
I hope you all had a great St. Valentine’s Day. Don’t let your hear be trapped in a corner all alone.
With beauty and grace we shall overcome. Or maybe we are just chasin tail all the time.
I have not been a good Catholic. I have not been a good Christian. I have not been a good man. I am sorry dad for letting you down. I am sorry God for letting you and your son down. It is time I tear down my own fences, my own blockades. I need to force myself to expand the reach of my life. How can I call myself a father if I am not leading by example. I must lock horns with adversity and wrestle it into submission. I must show my son the meaning of being a man, being strong and living in God.
Being a man is accepting responsibility for your actions and stand up for your family and commitments.Have HONOR.
Being strong is protecting your family and your name while standing up for what you believe. Strength is having faith in something and sharing your faith with others so they may have faith in something too.
Living in God is taking the faith that makes you strong and thank God for that faith. To live in God you must work hard and trust in something you cannot see or touch. You must bend your branches and aim your growth toward god and when this is done your trunk will be great and strong and your branches will protect those close to you from all bad things that blow into their lives.
I was raised Catholic and I was very strong in my Faith. I know a lot about the Catholic church and the Bible. I know the parts of the mass and used to know the name of everything used in the mass. I have slowly fallen away from my religion as I loss my innocence in life. It began as I learned of the corruption and political movements of the Church throughout history. What’s funny is I still feel very proud to be Catholic and will defend my Church till my death. I question the leadership of my Religion for not being more inclusive. While other religions are slowly changing and including more contemporary services the Catholic church make changes that make mass even harder to follow. They say that the changes are to follow more true to the actual translations but who cares if it causes people to lose interest in coming to church. God wants us to honor him and ourselves by taking the Sabbath for Him. He doesn’t care if we use the most litteral translation of what some Hebrew or Latin writer decided to put into words how we should honor him. If I remember correctly it is said that when two or more are gathered in his name he is there and that singing as a group is more powerful than one man praying. So why won’t the Catholic Church add to its tradition something that will bring more people and allow the people feel more from Mass than the few that still go now. (Yes I know the Catholic Church is still one or the largest Church in the world but think how great it would be if we were a little more flexible and brought back all those we lost). Okay back on topic.
Anyways, I have two books that I am going to read soon I hope. Robert Wright’s The Evolution Of God, John C Maxwell’s The 360 degree Leader, and a book about the changes in the Church but I can’t find it right now.
I think these will help me find my center and regain my strength because right now I feel very weak.
Well after several years of no seasonal changes maybe its time to cool it off for a beautiful Winter. Maybe its time to JUMP into another season another moon another mood another mode. I think I will start Monday with a new tattoo or two. They will be Pig and Rooster. I am hoping these old symbols will keep me afloat and help me find firm ground to land out when I jump into my great journey. I know I am not a sailor however my family is a Navy family and we all enjoy the water and are at peace on the water, except my crazy ass mother.
I know my journey is not just beginning, however, I think it is at a five point crossroads and all roads are off a cliff. Hence, “JUMPING” is now my mantra. I will have to jump into my challenges and opportunities if I want to progress in my life. God will not allow my landing zone to be in too deep of water to cause me to drown.
Work continues to slop back in forth in my hull. One day pushing me forward and high on the tide. Then the next pulling me back and down into the swells. I had two clients this afternoon and neither one was sold the correct product nor did they know anything about what they have, so let’s add another 4 hours to my day. On the up slosh, a couple nights ago my boss offered me help to give me time to work on my life and my family.
Family life is amazing and worsem. My child is wonderfully beautiful, smart, strong, and loving. Everyday he says or does something that baffles me and makes me smile, makes me proud and makes me cry. He understands so much and ask even more. He is counting now and trying to say his ABC’s. Yesterday he got in his Lightening McQueen car and drove around the house by pushing the button he has been scared of since getting it.
Well I am tired of writing and want to go pee so have a good night and I think I will be writing more. I think therefore I am ….THE MAN! haha
Last night started off nice and relaxing. Then it was bedtime and time for the two well behaved mutts out to relieve themselves. As good as they had been all night I followed the regular procedure and let them out the door closed it almost all the way and plopped my ass back on the couch. Five minutes went by and I went to the door to see what they were doing, figuring they were rough housing in the yard like usual.
-silence- dog barks in the back of the neighborhood.
Damn dogs are gone. So the rest of my night/morning consisted of me watching TV and every few minutes stepping outside to whistle for them and maybe walk around the house to look in the yards down the street. About 2:30 I drive around the neighborhood and on the main street with no sign and of course when I am driving around the barking dogs are silent so I don’t know where to look. After some more of the checking every few minutes routine I decide to drive around again at 3:10 AM. At 4:00 I go out to the street and start walking down it when I see a dumbass red dog running down the street toward me. One down, one black one to go. After letting the newly returned beast inside i continue my walk about a block and a half before sitting back on the couch with the partially closed door. The next thing I know is that its 4:32 and I wake up to see my back door opened and a little black dog on the bed next to the couch looking at me as if she had been napping there the whole time. They are lucky I was too tired of being awake to beat the life out of them. All gravy baby, only got two jobs in the morning. GOOD NIGHT whorish hounds.
Running an hour late for work, still good to go with two jobs. Then BAM easy job has 50 components and a huge tube TV that I am supposed to move and haul away.On paper it was supposed to be TV and soundbar…grrrrrr. I quit halfway through to go get parts they need and do my second job (easy breezy remote update). Back to cluster bomb of job. Wouldn’t it figure that when I have 3.25 hours of sleep for my brain i would run into the most complicated setup I have had all year. OMG sooo slow and so many wires and things to put on remote. 20 hours later I go home.
Well I am back. I haven’t posted after my first one because , well I have been trying to decide what direction I want to go with this blog.
Today I am going to just “blog” about my day and the stupidity of South Carolina or Americans in general. Let me start with a “hey dumbass let’s get basic intelligence.”
When you purchase a service and are told a four hour timeframe for arrival (8-12), please make sure you can read and understand a clock. When you are called and told that I will be there between 11:30 and Noon but closer to noon, it means I will arrive between 8 and 12. STILL IN YOUR DAMN TIMEFRAME so do not catch an attitude with me because you paid for the minimum service on your HDTV that you have hooked up with Coax cable on your HD cable box and composite cables on your Blu-ray player. You are an idiot and do not deserve my presence in your home.
South Carolina DOT, stop giving the public opportunities to be stupid. I pull up to and T-intersection today (on the crossing street). At the intersection is a little extra pavement to the right of our lane at the light and through the intersection. The purpose is to allow drivers to pass cars turning left. Well I am the third car as the light turns red. Car number two decides that the extra pavement is another lane. Two more cars behind me follows suit. I am pretty sure this is illegal and definitely just plain stupid. Nonetheless, I accelerated and let the morons know they were not in a lane that goes anywhere. Thank you for giving me pleasure from your stupidity.
Okay so moving on to the subject of our title today. Sunday is Good Shepherd Sunday at the church I grew up in. Every year, for as many years as I can remember my dad and I have cooked pigs for this weekend. So after work today I drove up to Hope Mills to help continue the tradition. As I walked into the door I discover that the store the pig was ordered from did not actually place the order. No pig for the faithful. Tomorrow will be a perfect opportunity for a reenactment of the “Fish and Loaves.” Things like this are what teach us patience, gratitude and forgiveness.
Patience: An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay, misfortune or pain.
There is no greater attribute to hold than that of patience. A person with patience proves to be kind, generous, loving and strong. For patience can not exist without being kind to those who grate your nerves, generous enough to give your time and ear to those who need it, loving someone so much you put up with anything, and strong enough to bear the burden of friends and enemies.
Gratitude: The quality or feeling of being deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received.
Our nation would attain absolute supremacy if only our people would understand this word and live by it. We have so much to be grateful for, yet all we can do is complain and try to control others. Our complaints range from prices to immigration. If we showed a little more gratitude then worries like these wouldn’t be so prevalent. If 2/3 of American’s understood gratitude and practiced it, then we would not be seen as an enemy by others and would not have to sacrifice our brothers and sisters to conflict.
Forgiveness: Act of forgiving, or a disposition or willingness to forgive.
God’s greatest lesson is to practice forgiveness. You should live your life with forgiveness, for once you forgive your friends and enemies you have no more bad feelings dragging you down. Living a live in this way will also cause a different life for those your forgive. Try it sometime, you will live longer and happier.
Sorry this is taken so long to finish but its been a rough weekend and I am stopping here cause I don’t remember my train of thought. More to come soon.
If life is a circle consider me the line, the circumference, the “Polak corner,” or even the empty entrapped space in the middle. NO NO, silly broad, this is not my blasphemous claim to be God or Allah. Besides the amazing fact that I am well rounded and smooth and perfect as this great shape, I am in an infinite path going no where. One bend is rounded, the sun comes into view. Then as the spin of the Earth in the next second I am faced with darkness again.
Well thats all I have to say right now until I get a better idea of what direction I want to take this blog. I will definitely post about food and work but not sure if I should include marriage, child, or my thought writings and poems.
Let me know what you think.
Thanks and please share, this could be “LEGENDARY.”